Weapons of Mass Destruction
by Sei-sama
Summary: It's hard for people to accept monsters. Just as it is hard for monsters to accept being recaptured.
1. Broken Promises

**Blah blah blah more Monsters vs Aliens. I couldn't help but think about the worldwide effects of monsters under governmental protection and then my mind ran with it and now I'm writing another cruddy fanfiction. And it's not a humorous one-shot! Bleh, I can be so stupidly dramatic.**

* * *

"Sir? Sir!"

"Yes? What is it now?" sighed President Hathaway, massaging his forehead in preparation for what was definitely bad news. Nobody ever told him good news. It was one of the downsides of being the president of anything.

Malcolm Britlee adjusted his glasses and said, "You have a message. Actually, several messages."

"Anyone important?"

"Sir, all of them are from country leaders." It was a good thing he had already begun massaging. "It's about, er, our 'weapons.'"

"Look, I _said_ I was _sorry_ - "

"Not those, sir. You know…the monsters?" Malcolm blinked worriedly behind his glasses not unlike a perturbed owl during a hurricane.

"Ah."

"Sir, they're threatening to severe connections with the US unless you do something about them. Get rid of them. Lock them up, at least. Er, they think we have an unfair advantage, having monsters," he added, catching Hathaway's questioning glance.

Malcolm didn't really like his job. Okay, it was a pretty good government job which he would have until he retired, and it paid exceedingly well, but his boss was quite possibly the worst boss in the US – no, the world. He hesitated to say the universe, for there were probably other bosses like Hathaway – beings who wielded a lot of power and had no idea what to do with it but pretended they did and ended up firing their whole nations' nuclear weapons arsenal by accident.

The only good thing about having Hathaway as a boss was that he was very predictable, and therefore Malcolm could plan out conversations in advance to, well, there was no polite way of saying it, manipulate him.

President Hathaway adopted a look which could either mean he was thinking very hard or he was developing a stomach ulcer. "Can't we just - "

"No, sir, we can't just attack all the major world leaders because they are threatening us," said Malcolm with a completely straight face. "Because, sir, if you did, we wouldn't be able to import quality coffee beans." He had been proud of this excuse. It was simple, but, for Hathaway, effective.

He didn't even have to think. "Right. Negotiation time. You, get me my chief negotiator!"

Sigh. "Right here, sir."

"How convenient. Alright then, let's go."

* * *

"But they can't do this! He _promised_!"

"Promises get broken. It's part of life." Susan Murphy glared down at General Monger. He seemed unfazed – impressive, considering that she could squash him like a bug. "Look, I don't like this either, but orders are orders. Now _please_ enter the aircraft peacefully – I don't want to have to do anything I would regret." Everybody instinctively glanced at the prone figure of Link, who had reacted much more negatively to the news than Ginormica.

Though she wanted to ignore him, though she wanted to just walk away from the soldiers, she couldn't. They would capture her, no matter how strong she was. She joined everybody in the jet that would transport her back to the prison. The door closed behind her. It seemed to be promising that she'd never escape. Never again.

* * *

"It's not fair."

After waking up again, Link had begun punching the walls in frustration. It hurt his fists after a while, so he settled for just pacing.

"The universe happens to excel in not being fair, Link," said Dr. Cockroach, who was idly watching the fish-ape pace, having no notes or experiments or books to occupy him for the time being.

"We _saved_ the whole _world_," snarled Link, his fists itching to punch something again, despite the throbbing. "After fifty years, I finally get my freedom, and it only lasts a _week_. And now I'm labeled as a _weapon_." Suddenly, he stopped pacing and glared accusingly at the doctor. "You're in the same boat! How and you just sit there and say you don't mind?"

"Easily," the scientist calmly replied.

Susan sat silently, staring off into a random point, feeling a bit left out. After all, she had only been imprisoned for a few days in Area 52. The others had been kept for much longer. She could never pin down exactly how they felt.

B.O.B. was having one of those rare times where he realized now was not the time to juggle his eyeball and toss it around at his friends.

The tense silence was finally broken by Dr. Cockroach, who still did not meet Link's gaze. "Did you really think we'd be fully accepted? They may appreciate our heroics, but now they've seen what we can do. What if we directed our power onto targets on Earth? What if we could be controlled by the government? What if we could be used for war? What if we can't even be controlled?"

"But that's - "

"It doesn't matter. The mind is built upon 'what if's."

The silence lasted until the end of the trip.


	2. Planning

**I actually wrote three chapters in advance and then sort of stopped, unsure how to go on. Then I decided 'what the heck' and pulled them up here. Maybe I'll actually finish this story someday. And god these attempts at drama fail sooooo bad.**

* * *

The facility was too familiar. Depressingly familiar. Even more depressing was how they quickly fell into their old ruts again, as if they had never left.

Though it seemed the other monsters had forgotten about freedom (even Link), Ginormica couldn't tear her mind away from the idea. After all, she had been free only a few days before, and it hadn't even been a month when she had had a regular life. The others' hopes had been tempered by time. It didn't stop the giantess from bringing up the topic.

While Link and B.O.B. were playing one of their many card games (with Insecto assisting, of course), Susan sat near Dr. Cockroach, who was working on…something.

"We need something like a…a…an uncharted island, uninhabited too, something like that. A place nobody could ever find, where we could hide."

"No island stays uncharted for long, my dear," said the doctor, testing the flexibility of a wire.

Susan scrunched up her face for a short while. "You could make some kind of…thing that could block satellites and divert ships and planes. You make lots of stuff like that," she pointed out. The cockroach-man didn't say a thing. "So you could build that. And since it's an island, Link would have a lot of room to swim, and there would be fish for him to eat. And maybe you could make a lab in the volcano - "

"That seems unpleasantly dangerous."

"Okay, what if it was a dormant volcano?"

"A mountain would be better, really."

"Fine, you could build a lab in a _mountain_. And the island would be big, so Insecto will have enough room to walk around…"

"Won't food be a problem for both of you? And you _do_ realize we won't be able to supply you with any shampoo or a place to shower?" Susan puzzled over this for a while, which gave the doctor adequate time to have something explode in his face. Playing devil's advocate had distracted him from the delicate process of producing francium.

While he dusted himself off, Susan sighed in defeat, having once again been thwarted by logic. "You're really frustrating sometimes, doc."

"Just trying to make sure you think things through." Straightening his antennae, he started the whole experiment over again.

"…Doc? Do you think we'll ever be just…you know, left alone?"

Dr. Cockroach froze, making the francium disappear again (at least less violently than before).

Of course they could never be left alone. They were _abnormal_. Nobody left anything abnormal alone – they either killed it or poked at it until it did something. And then killed it. Honestly, the safest place was probably in the cold, white, humming walls of Area 52.

But…he couldn't tell that to her.

"Anything can happen, my dear…" The cockroach man smiled only because the beautiful giantess smiled, but his grin felt as hard as his exoskeleton.

"…Any nines?" drawled Link as Ginormica started the brainstorming process again. B.O.B. handed over a card, exclaiming all the while that the fish-ape _must_ be psychic.

"Okay, so how about…a planet - "

"Now I'm afraid you're going into sci-fi territory," chuckled the doctor as Susan sighed in annoyance once more.

* * *

It was a night like any other…only it wasn't.

The doctor sat on his bed, wide awake. It was pitch black in his cell, but he didn't need to see anything. He was just thinking.

Susan's ideas couldn't work. Once you thought them through, they fell apart like so many IKEA products. Still, they stuck in his head, and he couldn't help but toy with them, see how far they stretched before snapping apart…

…The mind is built upon 'what if's. So is the world.


	3. Escaping

**Ohoho, this chapter took a little revision. I wrote out the beginning a little then threw up my hands and went 'Nope, this doesn't work at all' and rewrote it. By the way, I'm no good at action scenes or escape plans.**

* * *

Over fifty years, he may have plotted around two hundred escape plans, all of them failures. Link and Insecto were understandably dubious about his latest scheme, but Susan was too excited for them _not_ to join in. Dr. Cockroach himself was not afraid whether they could pull it off. He was too busy trying to figure out what exactly they were supposed to do after escaping.

The meal came as usual. The monsters went to eat as usual. But on the way to her table, Susan stumbled, then fell, causing the floor to shudder from the impact. She moaned and grimaced, gripping her ankle. Just in case those watching the cameras didn't get the idea, she cried, "Oooow, my ankle!"

It didn't take long for the staff to react. The large doors opened, allowing armed men to file in first, strong, burly men who glared unflinchingly at the smaller monsters while several medics rushed in behind, dragging a giant-sized cot that slid easily on the cold floor. As they tried to slide the cot underneath Ginormica's body, the other prisoners obligingly raised their hands and backed away, trying to look as innocuous as possible. No need in giving the military men a reason to shoot.

And then they suddenly dropped to the floor, trying to cling onto anything possible. None of the staff had any time to contemplate this, however, because it seemed that a gale had started up in the room. Insectosaurus was flapping her wings as the doc told her to, forcing almost everybody to collide with the far wall. Once the wind stopped, Susan managed to push herself up and, patting down her now-tangled hair, ran to the large doors before they could close. As the giantess strained to hold them open, Dr. Cockroach could see many people outside at a console typing frantically or barking orders over some sort of communication device. Link was already up and running towards the temporarily open door. It took a while for B.O.B. to get the idea, but eventually he moved towards freedom as well. The doctor was about to follow them when, as a sudden afterthought, he turned back to a couple of groaning soldiers and plucked two guns from their limp hands. Only shot tranquilizers, but ah well. Unfortunately, judging by the sounds of grating metal and the failing efforts of Susan to resist the doors' inevitable closure, he had no time to search for extra ammo.

Scurrying for the door, Dr. Cockroach called out, "Link!" and tossed one of the guns as hard as he could. Which was not very hard, to be honest. Still, the fish-ape, noticing the air-borne weapon, managed to turn back and caught the gun in a dive. After Susan saw all three monsters skitter out the door, she released them and they shut with a boom.

As the giantess recuperated, backup arrived in the form of about thirty soldiers. It didn't seem like they carried a giant syringe for Susan yet, but they were probably just having trouble loading it. Instinctively, Link grabbed a scientist that was stationed at the console and jammed his gun against her head. "Don't you _dare_ move or I'll…uh…tranquilize her. To death." It was a weak threat that trailed off at the end, but the soldiers froze anyways. It's hard to ignore a gun against a head.

Dr. Cockroach took this chance to run up to the console. After furiously typing and overriding several security measures, he opened the ceiling of their former prison, releasing Insectosaurus. At least he hoped so.

"So, uh, Doc…what's our next move?" The cockroach man looked up to see a tense standoff between monsters and soldiers.

"…We'll have to find the hanger," he hissed back and they sidled carefully to the hallway that the soldiers weren't blocking, never taking their eyes off the group. Once they couldn't see them anymore, Link released his hostage and they all started running. It quickly became clear to Susan that she could run much faster than any of the others, and so she scooped them up in her hands and started taking longer strides. Behind her, she heard the noise of a pursuing army. She tried randomly turning down other branching hallways, but eventually, she heard shouts approaching from almost every side.

"Wait! Back there!" shouted Link and Susan skidded to a slow stop to turn back and into the hanger. Dr. Cockroach hopped down to another control panel and he closed the doors before the troops outside could reach them.

"There," the doctor said in the sudden silence. "I've changed the password. Should take them a while to get in here." Another silence as the effects of adrenaline started to fade. B.O.B., with no glands whatsoever, just looked around and noticed something. "Hey! Those look like that piñata! You know, from that one birthday?"

"While I try unlocking a jet, you try to sabotage the, er, piñatas—"

"Was wonderin' when you'd all show up." Everybody turned to the familiar drawl. Walking towards them from under one of the jets was General Monger.


End file.
